Holy fuck, are we ever getting fat

Yet another frightening development in America’s journey to eternal FatAssitude. This weekend, I was on a trip and ran out of clean clothes, so I skipped out to the nearest store (which happened to be a Wal-Mart) in search of a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Lo and behold, I found what I was looking for, but I had to buy size “Small” shorts, because the other ones were way too big!

Does this mean that I’ve lost weight? Nope, I’m still 5’7″ (1.7 metres) tall and I still weigh roughly 180 pounds (82 kg). I still consider myself somewhat overweight and would like to get down to about 170 pounds. But then I looked at the label, and guess what: a “Small” sized pair of shorts from Wal-Mart now has a waist size of 34″ to 36″! I’m actually on the low side of the range for these shorts, and sure enough, they fit quite loosely.

Now, I don’t know what planet these Wal-Mart people are from, but in my world, a guy with a 34″ to 36″ waist is not small. I’ve bought size “Medium” for 15 years, and suddenly I’m a “Small”. Of course, we all know what this means: it means that people are getting so goddamned fat nowadays that a man with a 36″ waist is considered small. I can only look forward to the day when normal people have to wear kids’ clothes because all of the “new” adult sizes are tent-like in proportion.

This isn’t just an isolated observation or a brain-fart by Wal-Mart’s marketing people; according to the CDC as reported by NCHS, the average weight for an American adult male has ballooned from 166 pounds in 1960 to 191 pounds in 2002, and the average weight for an American adult female shot up from 140 lbs to 164 pounds over the same period. Looks like we really are becoming a nation of fat-asses.

I suppose this means that according to Wal-Mart, I no longer have to lose weight. But I think I’ll keep trying to get down to 170 lbs anyway, and I’ll just have to make sure to shop at more upscale stores than Wal-Mart if I ever have a clothing emergency in future.

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8 Responses to Holy fuck, are we ever getting fat

  1. Dill says:

    Damn, 36 is considered small now? Depending on the brand name, I generally take size 38 or 40, and I’ve always considered myself a pretty big guy.

  2. gizmojumpjet says:

    The comment system seems to work.

  3. SirNitram says:

    I’ll just put it like this. I’m 6’2″, 145lbs.

    Finding pants is a godsdamned nightmare.Apparently, in obese America, I’m seen more as a light snack than a customer.

  4. RogueIce says:

    I’m a small now? With my 36 waist, 5’10” height, and something around 190 weight (which I plan on getting down by a lot in the very near future)?

    I’d always thought of myself as a Large, but I guess Medium would fit. But Small?

  5. Ace Pace says:

    Dammit, I’m small?! Dammit, I’m overweight and I’m considered small? This is troubling, and probebly drives up costs.

  6. aerius says:

    Wal-mart is white trash central, for some reason it’s a magnet for fat people, and let’s just say they cater to their customers pretty well. When most Wal-Marts have a McDonalds inside, you know there’s issues.

    I’m at the point where I buy pants, shorts, and underwear by measurements instead of sizes, otherwise clothing doesn’t fit. Mind you I’m about 5’11” and 145-150lbs depending on what season it is so that doesn’t help either. I can fit into some youth sized shorts for fuck’s sake, people are getting that big & fat.

  7. ReinnResauq says:

    Wal-Mart considers me a small now? Give me a break. I’m 6’4, 235 lbs. That’s up from 190 lbs a year ago. And I’m a size small? Only if medium is the size of a Mini. If we’re that fat, why not just create new sizes? Maybe X-tra Large, Ultra-Large, and One-More-Burger-and-Your-Chest-Explodes?

  8. Woolie Wool says:

    GO to more civilized parts of the USA and waistlines shrink. I don’t think we’re fatter than we were 20 years ago, when 62% of Americans were overweight. Fatness has pretty much leveled off.

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