Talk:Plastic Chef Neelix

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I've found a picture of Neelix that is so awful I dare not post it to this page. Neelix posing naked with food keeping him modest. Damn my eyes! --Isolder74 00:57, 1 February 2013 (EST)

  • "Share your pain, and gain strength from the sharing!" Actually, on second thought, don't do that. --Ted C 10:38, 1 February 2013 (EST)
    • You are so right no one should have to endure that. What are the long term side effects of pouring bleach on my brain? --Isolder74 20:40, 1 February 2013 (EST)

Voyager and pasta

Over the course of the show the most visibly used foodstuff used by Neelix is pasta. There can only be three solutions for where it comes from, the pasta was in crates in the cargo bay in a dry state(Plausible but not going to last more then a year at best), the pasta was hand-made(Plausible but a scary thought if it was Neelix) but begs the question of where the semolina flour came from, or replicated on demand. The last one starts to demand various questions about how much control Neelix has over the use of replicators for food use.

  • Since the entire purpose of allowing Neelix to operate that kitchen is to avoid using the replicator, I'm actually inclined to believe that he's mass-producing pasta somewhere from grains or other ingredients acquired from planets in the Delta Quadrant. I certainly don't think there's any reason to assume that he's replicating it. --Ted C 10:47, 5 February 2013 (EST)
    • With the case of using any type of pasta machine, the dies require constant replacement. This is especially the case with any type of macaroni that isn't flat(the roller machines don't wear out as much) and the dough is very destructive on the dies requiring daily replacement with heavy use. Either they have an actual manufacturing plant to mill the dies on demand, or Neelix is needing to replicate the dies every time they wear out. Neither looks well for their stated goal. --Isolder74 11:01, 5 February 2013 (EST)
      • I wasn't aware that the wear was that bad, but I don't discount the possibility of futuristic materials that would hold up better. --Ted C 11:27, 5 February 2013 (EST)
        • Admittedly Nylon and Teflon coated dies last longer, weekly replacement rather then daily, but that only slightly helps with the issue. Magic never wearing out dies really is the only good solution. So typical Voyager reset button.....(Actually the "reset button" would be crates of pasta that never run out.) --Isolder74 11:36, 5 February 2013 (EST)
          • They don't need to be perpetual dies. They just need to be durable enough that maintaining or replacing them is more "cost" effective than replicating the pasta. Given the apparent inefficiency of replication, I doubt that's much of a stretch. --Ted C 11:39, 5 February 2013 (EST)
            • True. <Smirk> Now I'm imagining a wall somewhere with holes (probably Harry's bathroom wall) cut in it Neelix used to make his dies from. A section of starship hull would be a good material source. --Isolder74 11:44, 5 February 2013 (EST)

The logistics of actually making pasta slipping the minds of the writers is less painful considering how many people don't really know how the pasta in the supermarket is made. To the normal consumer it's just there.

  • Maybe he doesn't require a pasta machine. Maybe he's just using some wacky alien plant matter that has a shape and texture marginally similar to pasta. It would fit his usual MO. Heck, maybe his "hair pasta" really is some kind of weird alien animal hair. --Ted C 13:48, 5 February 2013 (EST)
    • I'm not sure I can sleep thinking about that possibility..... --Isolder74 13:55, 5 February 2013 (EST)

Neelix's Coffee Substitute.

I was watching the movie, Monster's Incorporated a few days ago and there is a scene where a thick hot monster coffee is dispensed that resembles (it still looked better) Neelix's 'Better Then Coffee' coffee substitute. Considering how that universe works, maybe Neelix isn't actually a Talaxian but an exiled Monster that happens to look like a Talaxian.....