Stewart at SDI
Name: Stewart at SDI a.k.a. Stewie
Type: Four-alarm Nutcase (Trekkie)
Period of Activity: 28-Jan-04 - 24-Mar-04
Affiliation: Stratigic Defense Instatute
Description: Making grandiose claims of many kinds, Stewie, as he is affectionately known, is one of the great true nutcases. He swept onto the board making grandiose claims of exceeding the maximum range of handguns and hitting targets more quickly than marines with rifles could, and being an expert in 'Ti Quon Do'. He also claims to be in charge of the 'Stratigic Defense Instatute', which has become something of an in-joke among board denziens. By all accounts, SDI started as a tragic misunderstanding of the Strategic Defense Initiative- but rather than admitting he was wrong, he decided to prove that SDI really was what he said it was. Stewart didn't go into much detail over what the SDI was actually supposed to do, other some vague claims about it providing "elegant solutions to your insolvable problems." It was later shown that it had no street address, no listing in any chamber of commerce, and no scanner. However, that did not stop Stewie. Claiming to have gone on the Great Ph.D-Plus (no-one has ever been able to conclusively prove what was meant by Ph.D Plus) Road-Trip of 2004, Stewie bragged about spending almost $800 to ask professors about a Star Trek vs. Star Wars debate, without providing any names, certificates, or photos.
At this point, the few remaining wheels fell off his story, and general consensus is now that the SDI is a tree house somewhere in rural America. Stewie was ejected from the board shortly thereafter. To this day, Stewie is the worst speller ever to have been encountered on SD.net; his poor spelling ended up terminating the all-too brief career of a sockpuppet account ("Frankenerd") after less than three quarters of an hour, his lack of spelling aptitude proving a bigger marker of Stewie than his e-mail or IP address.
Stewie wasn't prepared to let it lie at that, however. He fled to SpaceBattles and started moaning about SD.net, while continuing to present his insane theories. For a few months, no-one really cared. However, in a truly bizarre episode, he first claimed that neither George Lucas nor Paramount deserved to decide what was canon on their respective series, then started ranting about how he had kicked Darth Wong's ass in their debate. The board admin politely suggested that Stewie take a break from the board, and when he failed to comply he soon found himself being turfed out of SpaceBattles as well. Amazingly enough, he tried the sockpuppet trick again on SpaceBattles (billing himself as "Frank Stewart" this time), with a similar lack of success.
His most recent escapade was his attempt to convince someone who he assumed was advertising on SD.net (this was before Google ads appeared on the site) that because it "extorted the goodness of pornography," that they should stop giving money to the site. In fact, the banner was simply Darth Wong advertising a relative's business, and no exchange of money had taken place; all that Stewie did was simply make himself look like an idiot once more. (Interestingly, Darkstar launched into a defense of Stewie on his blog at this point, claiming that Stewie's points were actually good and he simply hadn't presented them too well!)
Greatest Hits: Mike vs. Stewie