Plastic Chef Neelix

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(Neelix does not seem to understand basic food safety principles)
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{{Quote|What kind of cook thinks that increased heat equals less cooking time? A bad one!|[[Chuck Sonnenburg]]}}
 
{{Quote|What kind of cook thinks that increased heat equals less cooking time? A bad one!|[[Chuck Sonnenburg]]}}
  
This page is dedicated to the general cooking fail that is [[Neelix]], a judgement that even the characters of the show agree on. When asked her opinion on some of Neelix's cooking, [[Seven of Nine|Seven-Of-Nine]] responded, "It is offensive."<ref>[[VOY]] "Year of Hell"</ref>  Tom Paris calls his Spaghetti hair pasta.<ref>[[VOY]] "Parturition"</ref>  Even [[Kathryn Janeway|Janeway]] complains about the nastiness of his coffee "Substitute." <ref>[[VOY]] "The Cloud"</ref>
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This page is dedicated to the general cooking fail that is [[Neelix]], a judgement that even the characters of the show agree on. When asked her opinion on some of Neelix's cooking, [[Seven of Nine|Seven-Of-Nine]] responded, "It is offensive."<ref>[[VOY]] "Year of Hell"</ref>  Tom Paris calls his Spaghetti hair pasta.<ref>[[VOY]] "Parturition"</ref>  Even [[Kathryn Janeway|Janeway]] complains about the nastiness of his coffee "substitute."<ref>[[VOY]] "The Cloud"</ref>
  
 
== Neelix does not respect the tastes of others ==
 
== Neelix does not respect the tastes of others ==
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Once again we are forced to look to the disaster that was "Learning Curve".  Neelix has made a batch of homemade cheese, and he is storing this cheese is in a bell jar-like container on the counter in his kitchen.  While there are a few cheeses that can be stored in a room temperature state (none of which Neelix had the resources to make) without much worry, most experienced cooks will still store them in a refrigerated environment, as that is just one extra precaution against food poisoning.  The danger-zone is a very real concern, and -- as evidenced by Neelix managing to infect the ship itself with his cheese -- just begs the bigger question of how many food poisoning cases was the [[Emergency Medical Hologram|Doctor]] dealing with that they just didn't care to show us.
 
Once again we are forced to look to the disaster that was "Learning Curve".  Neelix has made a batch of homemade cheese, and he is storing this cheese is in a bell jar-like container on the counter in his kitchen.  While there are a few cheeses that can be stored in a room temperature state (none of which Neelix had the resources to make) without much worry, most experienced cooks will still store them in a refrigerated environment, as that is just one extra precaution against food poisoning.  The danger-zone is a very real concern, and -- as evidenced by Neelix managing to infect the ship itself with his cheese -- just begs the bigger question of how many food poisoning cases was the [[Emergency Medical Hologram|Doctor]] dealing with that they just didn't care to show us.
  
Neelix's solution for cleaning greens for use in a salad was to shake them off and set them on the counter.<ref>[[VOY]] "Elogium"</ref>  He does complain about the bugs found on those greens but does nothing to get rid of them other then grip about it.  On another occasion we find out that once again a technical issue with the systems of Voyager is caused by an ingredient being used in Neelix's kitchen.  This time  
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Neelix's solution for cleaning greens for use in a salad was to shake them off and set them on the counter.<ref>[[VOY]] "Elogium"</ref>  He does complain about the bugs found on those greens but does nothing to get rid of them other then grip about it.  On another occasion, we find out that an ingredient being used in Neelix's kitchen is once again the cause of a technical issue with the systems of ''Voyager''.  This time, technobabble "fleas" are found in a new spice that Neelix is using (in ''everything'' again -- learn a new trick ''Der Scheissekopf'').  This time we see that there is at least one crewman who has gotten sick from this new ingredient.<ref>[[VOY]] "The Voyager Conspiracy"</ref>
technobabble "fleas" are found in a new spice that Neelix is using(In everything, ''again''!  Learn a new trick Der Scheissekopf.).  This time we do see that there is at least one crewman here that has gotten sick from this new ingredient.<ref>[[VOY]] "The Voyager Conspiracy"</ref>
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== Neelix's Kitchen is a Safety Nightmare ==
 
== Neelix's Kitchen is a Safety Nightmare ==
 
 
[[Image:Flame on!.png|thumb|right|200px|How am I suppose to stir the bottom of this pot?]]
 
[[Image:Flame on!.png|thumb|right|200px|How am I suppose to stir the bottom of this pot?]]
 
[[Image:Doingitright.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Doing it right!]]
 
[[Image:Doingitright.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Doing it right!]]
 
{{Quote|I try to teach my son about sanitation, especially when handling foods like chicken that could be dangerous. I remind him to wash his hands all the time. When my son cooks with me, he stands on a step stool so he can reach the stove. I teach him about safety and fire.|Emeril Lagasse}}
 
{{Quote|I try to teach my son about sanitation, especially when handling foods like chicken that could be dangerous. I remind him to wash his hands all the time. When my son cooks with me, he stands on a step stool so he can reach the stove. I teach him about safety and fire.|Emeril Lagasse}}
  
There is no specific example to cite for this one, as it is visible ''everywhere'' in Neelix's kitchen.  It is an ergonomic and safety nightmare.  He leaves kitchen utensils, including sharp ones, lying about in unsafe positions, but the most blatant example of this problem is visible in his ''burner setup.''  Neelix's burners are positioned so high that, while he is operating the stove, the tops of the pots are at almost the level of his neck or chin.  This is very unsafe and an ''absolute ergonomic nightmare.''  Burns in the kitchen ''are a very serious matter'', and having pots (and burners) filled with hot liquids at that height is asking to have them tipped over onto someone.  This is even more egregious, considering that he is operating his kitchen on a spaceship that might swerve and bounce about at any moment.
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There is no specific example to cite for this one, as it is visible ''everywhere'' in Neelix's kitchen.  It is an ergonomic and safety nightmare.  He leaves kitchen utensils, including sharp ones, lying about in unsafe positions, but the most blatant example of this problem is visible in his ''burner setup.''  Neelix's burners are positioned so high that, while he is operating the stove, the tops of the pots are at almost the level of his neck or chin.  This is very unsafe and an ''absolute ergonomic nightmare.''  Burns in the kitchen are a ''very serious matter'', and having pots (and burners) filled with hot liquids at that height is asking to have them tipped over onto someone.  This is even more egregious, considering that he is operating his kitchen on a spaceship that might swerve or bounce about at any moment.
  
Barring that, watch him try to cook in those pots, and the absolutely awkward ways he must hold the utensils to stir anything in them, to realize the other reason those positions are moronic.  Stew pots should always be lower then chest level; it just makes everything much simpler to manage.  In point of fact, this is why many industrial burners designed for use with high-capacity stockpots actually have stove-tops sometime a ''half foot lower'' then normal commercial ranges. <ref>[[VOY]] "Investigations"</ref>
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Barring that, watch him try to cook in those pots and the absolutely awkward ways he must hold the utensils to stir anything in them to realize the other reason those positions are moronic.  Stew pots should always be lower then chest level; it just makes everything much simpler to manage.  In point of fact, this is why many industrial burners designed for use with high-capacity stockpots actually have stove-tops sometime a ''half foot lower'' then normal commercial ranges. <ref>[[VOY]] "Investigations"</ref>
  
 
== Conclusion ==
 
== Conclusion ==

Revision as of 15:31, 24 January 2013

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