Neelix

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Neelix
Neelix.jpg
Nice shirt....How long have you been color-blind?
Quote:

"Sure, I'll treat this ship as if its mine and the crew's only purpose is to do my bidding."

Race:

Talaxian

Affiliation:

his own selfish ass

Gender:

Male

Born:

When the universe ran out of joy.

Died:

If only he did....

  [Source]


"The only way Neelix is going to keep the Voyager crew alive is if they eat him!"
Chuck Sonnenburg

Neelix (AKA Der Scheissekopf) out-performs Wesley Crusher for the "Most hated character on Star Trek" award. Wesley was an annoying know-it-all, but at least he really did know what he was talking about. Neelix claims to be knowledgeable about many things, but events inevitably prove him to be a lying jackass. Not only that, the collection of outfits he wears combine cloth and colors that make just looking at him a painful experience. To make matters worse, he is always telling stories that are supposed to be helpful but usually are just rambling nonsense. He is so annoying that even the characters on the show feel that way about him, to the point that when Tuvok wants to test his self-control, his best plan is to be in the same room as a holographic copy of Neelix.

He is so obnoxious and so stupid, he makes Jar-Jar Binks look like Sean Connery in comparison. This is something the writers of Voyager seemed completely oblivious to. At least when fans reacted negatively to Jar-Jar, he was dialed down. The writers of Voyager, on the other hand, kept trying to force this moron onto us! More proof that the creators of Voyager did not care about their audience.

It is very obvious that the writers were expecting him to be the breakout character, much like Sulu, Scotty, Worf, Data, Odo, and Quark were before him. This was done in a misguided effort to try and engineer a character to be the fan favorite rather than let it happen naturally. This is something that they would try to do again when they created Enterprise with the character of T'Pol.

History

We all wish they did this for real.

The USS Voyager found this asshole in a debris field which he claimed was his own shortly after Voyager arrived in the Delta Quadrant, after which his acts of stupidity rapidly escalated.

  • One of his first acts was to lie to them so that they would help him rescue Kes, something the crew of Voyager told him they would have done without having to be conned into it if he'd been actually honest![1]
  • He thinks that owning a ship that amounts to a shuttlecraft compared to Voyager qualifies him to be an officer.[2]
  • He turned the ship's dining room into a galley without permission and appointed himself "chief morale officer." It's obvious that the crew only eats his food because there is no other option.[3] His cooking skills are horrible, and he is constantly burning food he is preparing; of course it is never his fault.[4] He even finds a way to threaten the ship with homemade cheese...cheese![5] In point of fact, the horror of his cooking could make up a page all by itself.
  • He consistently disobeyed direct orders from Voyager's officers, which once resulted in his lungs being stolen by Vidiians,[6] but he still didn't learn from his stupidity.
  • He habitually burst onto the bridge or into command staff meetings without authorization and for no purpose.
  • He makes it a habit to antagonize a Vulcan as much as possible. A Vulcan that is one psychological problem away from strangling him one-handed.[7]
  • By pretending to have "survival skills" that didn't really exist, he got a crewmember killed.
    • In fact the thing that got the crewmember killed was having him do something, collect bones, that would have no actual benefit (barring their use as tools, but he specifically wanted them for possible food use).
    • Not only that but he then insisted that the crewman do a multi-person task all by himself, ensuring extra distraction and making him more vulnerable to any possible threats.
    • On that same day, he went on to fail to find any food, fail to find water, fail to start a fire, and then wander off on his own in the dark. This of course lead to another person dying![8]
  • When the crew was collecting food, he claimed that an apple-like fruit was poisonous without providing any real evidence, something a tricorder should be able to at least confirm. He had no problem with some mushrooms however (he didn't even look at them; he just accepted them without question), something much more likely to actually be potentially poisonous if not identified correctly.[1][2] The only reason Seska's mushroom soup didn't kill Chakotay is probably dumb luck.[9]
  • He has no concept of the "buddy system". He constantly wanders off on his own[10] and leaves others by themselves.[11] This usually results in someone needing rescue... or a funeral.[12]
  • He complains that safety equipment "takes the fun" out of rock climbing, only to moments later fall and nearly get both himself and Torres killed.[13]
  • If you are male and even try to be friends with Kes, Neelix will go into a homicidal rage.[14]
  • He is stupid enough to antagonize the son of Q to the point that he ends up having his mouth removed.[15]

In point of fact, if he claims to have any skill, you can rest assured that as the episode plays out he will prove to be completely incompetent in that field of knowledge.

The tease that we will never forgive

In the episode, "One", Seven of Nine is having to deal with hallucinations of various members of the crew. Among them is the voice of Neelix telling us that he is dying and not to let him die.

He doesn't die.

References

  1. VOY "Caretaker pt 2"
  2. VOY "Parallax"
  3. VOY "The Cloud", VOY "Prototype", VOY "Parturition" VOY "Faces"
  4. VOY "Flashback"
  5. VOY "Learning Curve"
  6. VOY "Phage"
  7. VOY "Meld"
  8. VOY "Basics"
  9. VOY "State of Flux"
  10. VOY "Twisted", VOY "Basics"
  11. VOY "Basics"
  12. VOY "Phage", VOY "Basics"
  13. VOY "Blood Fever"
  14. VOY "Parturition"
  15. VOY "Q2"
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