Mr. Coffee

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Discovered by the Germans in 1908, Mr. Coffee was put into stasis in the anticipation that The Fonz would no longer be cool enough to generate The Awesome. His civilian life heavily involves indoor surfaces, and can be read about in FLOORED: The Awesome Adventures of Mr. Coffee.


After an accident involving preposterous amounts of guitar feedback, Mr. Coffee was required to take medication that had the noticable side effect of turning his inner monologue into an outer monologue. This was compounded by an already extroverted personality. During this period Mr. Coffee successfully hijacked a RAR! thread in which SDN members were allowed a naval vessel based on their post count. This led to the creation of the People's Republic of Fuck Yeah! and Taskforce Cuntpuncher, which began to attract members rapidly. Since the formation of the republic, Mr. Coffee's already Awesome status within the board community rose to Rocket-Powered Chainsaw levels of Awesome.