Andrew Joshua Talon
Andrew Joshua Talon was one of the boldest but dumbest Mindless Scooter Cockgoblins to venture onto SDN Forums, and he eventually received the Imperial Smackdown on the topic of infantry weapons. He tried to cover up the fact that he took days to weeks to respond by appealing to his busy high school class schedule and Harry Potter RPGs, even though everyone could tell the real reason was his need to correspond with Darkstar for help.
Mike's summary of the Smackdown
- AJT feels that Darkstar canon policy overrides Lucasfilm canon policy.
- AJT feels that the word "staff" automatically means "large circumference". Perhaps he's been watching too much gay porn.
- AJT feels that ST ships are made of much stronger material than SW ships because they can travel at FTL. The fact that SW ships also travel at FTL, and at much greater velocities, is apparently lost on him.
- AJT feels that wrecking a huge sandcrawler, punching through inch-thick armour plate, or blowing through a DS1 door or wall are all far less impressive than taking out a holographic door.
- AJT does not know how to visually distinguish dirt from concrete.
- AJT believes that if something disappears without any effect on its environment, it must have turned into vapour.
- AJT believes that Federation weapons have all kinds of firepower and neat auto-aiming features which would have been really useful in combat, but they choose to turn them off.
- AJT accidentally conceded the whole argument by admitting that a single machine gun (and by extension, a Stormtrooper unit's E-Web) would have outperformed the entire Federation unit at AR-558.