 Michael and Rebecca Wong |
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Michael and Rebecca Wong |
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One of my all-time favourites. Many critics were not impressed and attacked its unsophisticated dialogue, but they missed the point. "Gladiator" was driven by operatic themes of heroism and revenge, not complex plots and pompous soliloquys. Homer's enduring Odyssey was not so much about glory and victory as it was about going home, and one could say the same about "Gladiator". There's a great scene in the beginning of the film when Marcus Aurelius asks Maximus why he fights for Rome. Maximus offers some empty platitudes, but it's quite obvious that he doesn't really know. The only thing he does know is that he dreams of going home to his wife and son, once he has discharged his duty to king and country. It is that dream which drives him throughout the rest of the film, regardless of whether his long-awaited family reunion will take place in this world, or the next. Meet Maximus, hero and family man. His code was strength and honour, but his motivation was hearth and home.
Favourite line: "My name is Maximus Decimus
Meridius.
Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix
Legions,
and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius.
Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife.
And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
Unfortunately, mere text on a screen cannot convey the sheer power and palpable testosterone of that line as it was delivered in the movie. By the way, in case you couldn't discern Maximus' battle cry when he came charging out of the forest in his cavalry maneuver of the opening battle, it was "Roma Victor!" And in case you couldn't tell what order he gave just before his men toppled the first chariot in the first Coliseum battle, it was "Diamond!"
Denzel Washington versus Gene Hackman. With a pair of actors like that, how can you go wrong? It's a much more visceral movie than "Hunt for Red October", being based more on character conflicts than plot complexities. The movie is great from top to bottom, with well-played characters, a strong supporting cast, and some great scenes (I particularly like the captain's speech to his men in the rain as they're about to board the submarine).
Trivia: Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn from the Lord of the Rings) plays the weapons officer, who is a crucially important supporting character in this movie. You might have trouble recognizing him without the long hair and the stubble, but he's there.
Favourite line: "We're here to preserve democracy, not to practice it."
Yes, it's a shark movie. And yes, I know that "Jaws" is supposed to be the standard by which all others are judged. But honestly, I think that as shark movies go, this one is better than "Jaws". Everybody talks about Stephen Spielberg's genius in not letting you see the shark until near the end of "Jaws", but honestly, there's something to be said for seeing those suckers in action. Besides, Spielberg's hand was forced by the limits of technology at the time, which simply precluded a believable shark for anything but brief glimpses.
Favourite line (while searching Jan's
quarters):
"OK, Jan was a healthy girl. Something in here has to run on
batteries"
Die Hard was the launching pad for Bruce Willis' career, and after all these years, it still holds up (as does his career, which many figured would be a flash in the pan after "Moonlighting" ended). It was even original in its day; its style and structure were something of a departure from the typical action movies that had become before, but people growing up today wouldn't know that because its basic format has been copied so many times that it is now considered cliché.
Favourite line: "I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, Dwayne!"
What can I say about Face/Off? The film's premise is utterly ridiculous, but John Woo, Nicholas Cage, and John Travolta pull it off with such a spectacular tour de force of acting and fight choreography that you can't help but be pulled into its world. I suppose I should point out that I normally find John Woo's directing style quite tiresome (see MI-2 for an example of a film that should have been incinerated before release and which demonstrates exactly how tiresome Woo's style can get), but I didn't mind it in this movie.
Favourite line: "Isn't this religious, ah
yes.
The eternal battle between good and evil,
saint and sinners... but you're still not having any
fun!"
The price our grandfathers paid for our freedom. Watch it and remember them. My only quibble was that the British and Canadian men who stormed ashore and spilled their blood alongside the Americans were pretty much invisible, which is sadly what one learns to expect from American-made war films.
Favourite line: N/A.
This film is not really dialogue-driven, not that this is a bad thing. Sometimes, actions really do speak louder than words.
I love the "Terminator" movies. The Terminator was a role that was perfectly designed for Arnold Schwarzenegger. His physique and the sheer power of his aura made us believe that he really might be an unstoppable killing machine, and his stiff-necked acting style actually worked for him instead of against him. Cameron, whatever you may think of his ego and his plagiarism, also did a superb job of moving from the original film to the sequel, creating a story that continued the saga of the original rather than re-treading over old ground (his treatment of the Sarah Connors character was particularly good).
Favourite line:
JOHN CONNORS: "You can't just go around killing people!"
TERMIINATOR: "Why?"
Rocky Balboa's long and painful search for that most valuable and elusive treasure: self-respect. Its sequels were progressively worse until they became unwatchable, but this one will always be a classic.
Favourite line: "I'm a nobody. But that don't
matter either, you know?
'Cause I was thinkin', it really don't matter if I lose this
fight.
It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either.
'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance.
Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that
distance,
you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin',
I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see,
that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood."
What can I say about this movie? It's lacking elements such as character development that are normally expected in a good movie, and yet it is a uniquely powerful film that seeks to make the average filmgoer understand the power of the Ranger credo: "Leave no man behind". In many ways, its failure to add background and character development to the story is perhaps not so much a weakness as a strength: such superfluous details would only detract from the film's purpose, which was to put us in the shoes of a US Army Ranger in Mogadishu.
Some critics complain that the film treats the Somali soldiers as mere nameless targets, but is that not how a soldier must view them? From his point of view, they are men with guns who are trying to kill him and his friends, and that is all he needs to know. Some critics also complain that the film gives short shrift to the historical background and political situation leading up to the conflict, but once again, does a soldier need to concern himself with such things? He has his duty, his friends, and his survival to think about: on the field of battle, everything else is secondary.
When you compare "BlackHawk Down" to Mel Gibson's wretched quasi-war film "We Were Soldiers", the virtues of its Spartan approach become clear. "We Were Soldiers" is filled with pointless and annoying sentimental Hallmark moments in which the audience is forced to wallow endlessly in self-conscious displays of sorrow (most notably with the interminable scenes of women back in the US carrying death letters to the loved ones of soldiers killed in action, not to mention nigh-promotional scenes of Gibson leading his family in prayer). It's a Catholic male's equivalent of a "chick flick" tearjerker; filled with emotional catharsis and guilt, climaxing in a scene where the central character simultaneously weeps and preaches at the audience. The point of "We Were Soldiers" is not the story but the catharsis, and it sacrifices dramatic pace and even historical accuracy in order to achieve this goal. In fact, the ending of the real-life battle was completely different from the ridiculous and frankly idiotic ending of "We Were Soldiers", in which a 20th century army uses a 19th century fixed-bayonet charge in order to overwhelm its attackers. Completely absurd, historically false, but gosh, it sure looked heroic, right Mel? Especially with your character bravely leading the charge, immediately prior to your victory, followed by the inevitable tear-jerking weepy breakdown and predictable soliloquy.
Luckily, "BlackHawk Down" does not waste its time (or yours) with such emotionally manipulative nonsense. It stays on its mission, which is to show you the world through a soldier's eyes, and it accomplishes that mission brilliantly.
Favourite line: "Once that first bullet goes past
your head,
politics and all that shit just goes right out the window."
There are dozens of James Bond films, spanning four decades and a boatload of actors: Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, and Pierce Brosnan. But of all those, Connery will always be the definitive Bond, and Goldfinger will always be the definitive Bond film. Is it clichéd? Yes. Can it be downright cheesy at times? Hell yes. Is it sexist? You bet your ass it is. But it's also quintessential Bond movie, with all of the elements that would eventually become immutable features of the franchise. The unstoppable villain sidekick, the countdown to destruction, the high-tech toys, the blatant promiscuity, Bond's absurd sexual power over women with ridiculously suggestive names, it's all here. If you watch only one James Bond film in your life, watch this one.
Favourite line:
BOND: "Do you expect me to talk?"
GOLDFINGER: "No, Mister Bond, I expect you to die!"
What can I say? It's cheesy, but it's a great movie anyway. This movie is the epitome of the popcorn swashbuckler. Character development? Nope, don't need that. Complicated, carefully designed plot? Nope, don't need that either. Witty and urbane Kevin Smith dialogue? Nope, I liked "Clerks", but we don't need that either, not in this kind of movie. All we need is the fun factor, in which Raiders scores a 10.0.
Besides, it's got real, honest Nazis for villains! Not neo-Nazis, or fictitious vaguely Nazi-like villains, oh no, these are full-blown goose-stepping swastika-wearing Heil-Hitlering Nazis, and good ol' Indiana Jones gives them the sound thrashing that they deserve.
Favourite line: "Truck? What truck?"
This one falls under the "guilty pleasure" kategory. You kan point out its flaws to me all day long, you kan cite your impressive literary and pop kulture background as evidence, you kan even drop foreign names like David Mamet and you kan cite the recommendations of fancy film festivals, but all of that bullshit won't change my mind: Mortal Kombat is a really kool movie.
Yes, Shang Tsung is overacted; do the people who complain about this know nothing of kung-fu movie villains? And yes, some of the dialogue is kringe-inducing, and Goro looks fake. Well too bad; how realistic do you expect a giant four-armed kombatant to look anyway? The point is that the film has a great soundtrack (kind of a weird techno-metal fusion), good fighting scenes, and is much more klever than its detractors would care to admit.
Favourite line: "Liu, I hate this place. I hate
it.
I'm in a hostile environment, I'm completely unprepared,
I'm surrounded by people who probably want to kick my ass ...
it's like being back in high school!"
Seriously, Johnny Cage has all of the best lines in that movie.
Yes, it's another "guilty pleasure" movie. I know how cheesy the dialogue is. I know how cheesy the story is. I know some of the things that happen in this movie are simply not possible in any kind of even vaguely realistic world. But I have a soft spot for this movie anyway. It's the quintessential Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, with all of his trademark death-move wisecracks and the semi-satirical tone that was also common in his films. It's so absurdly over-the-top, so ridiculously preposterous that you can't even try to take it seriously. It was a tossup between this one and "The Running Man", but this one is crazier and cheesier. Offhand, I can't think of a single scene in this movie which is not utterly preposterous in some way. It's a classic.
Warning notice: this film is probably best enjoyed with a group of giddy friends. If you sit down alone and try to watch it in your "serious film critic" mode, you may not appreciate the filmmaking genius of a movie where a fistfight between two men is interrupted at the midway point for a completely gratuitous shot of a naked woman with large breasts.
Favourite line:
ARNOLD: "Remember Sully, when I said I would kill you last?"
SULLY: "That's right Matrix, you did!"
ARNOLD: "I lied."
There are two towering pillars of the gangster-movie genre: "The Godfather" and "Scarface". Of those, "The Godfather" is almost universally regarded by critics as the superior film, but at the risk of film blasphemy, I don't see why. "The Godfather" has some good scenes and a good story but its pace is so slow that I found myself checking my watch. In general, any time you check your watch and wonder how much longer this film is going to continue, there's a problem with the movie.
"Scarface", on the other hand, presented me with no such problems. I found it compelling all the way through, and Al Pacino chews up the scenery as Tony Montana, the biggest, coolest bad-ass on the planet. Of course, the film is somewhat self-contradictory: it simultaneously glorifies Tony Montana while decrying his lifestyle and eventually ending his story as a cautionary tale complete with a catastrophic downfall that was entirely of his own making. But while you can question its social responsibilities, you cannot question its magnetism. When Tony Montana is on the screen, you cannot help but be transfixed.
Favourite line: "I never fucked anybody over in
my life who didn't have it comin' to him, you got that?
All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don't break
'em for no one."
Don't even try to talk to me about your critical complaints with this movie. Don't even try to sell me a lot of arguments about how it irresponsibly promotes this or that or the other thing. Don't even try to complain to me that this film has no appeal for women; I don't care. This is Conan the Barbarian. It is a movie made by men, for men. It has sorcerors and demons and bloodletting galore, not to mention Arnold Schwarzenegger wielding a really cool-looking sword and beating the shit out of people. Now get the fuck out of the way and let me watch my barbarian movie.
Favourite line:
"What is best in life?"
CONAN: "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you,
and to hear the lamentation of their women."
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